Generally, there are 2 methods for resolving conflict: escalation and deescalation. And yes, both of them work.
We’re always taught that de-escalation is the best policy. But that has never, isn’t, and will never be true. The ability of people to do bad things is because they’re counting on the fact that others won’t.
DEALING WITH BULLIES
Most people have dealt with bullies at some point in their lives. Usually during school days. And what everyone can say for certain is that the best way to get a bully off your hand is to stand up against him/her. Most times, they’re not ready for a fight. Their ability to continue bullying relies on their assumption that you won’t push back. Once you push back, you’re no longer worth the effort. When they can just move to the next person.
RESOLVING CONFLICTS
Some years ago, as a young graduate, I was in a public transport. There was a conversation amidst passengers as to how to resolve conflict. And the driver decided to participate. He said in his experience the best way to resolve conflict in this clime is to be the first one to escalate. And he gave a funny example. He said one day, he was involved in a minor traffic accident, which was his fault. He said as the driver of the car was getting down, he got down from his vehicle too, broke a bottle and began to run towards the other driver. Quickly, the other driver ran back into his car and zoomed off.
As someone who’s lived in that clime, I can tell you it’s true and it works most of the time. Taking the pacifist approach backfires often. The other party is going to download all of their frustrations onto you for minutes if not hours. Whether it’s another driver, a co-passenger or a law enforcement agent. Which is why it is a common thing that when a traffic incident occurs, each party is threatening the other party with stuff like “do you know who I am?”.
This is not to say escalation is always the answer. It’s to say sometimes, it’s the answer for the time. Because it is human nature to punish weakness wherever it’s found.
“blessed are the meek…”
Meekness is correctly defined as having great power but choosing restraint. It’s often confused with being a pushover. No one is going to pick a fight with the meek, not because they don’t want to, but because they know the meek has the power to descend heavily on them. It is folly to pick a fight you know you can’t win.
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